I recently traveled to Japan with a friend who I’ve known for a little over 3 years. We were very good friends pre-trip.
But during the trip we did have disagreements; not being able to see eye-to-eye on some topics. For example, I didn’t like how irresponsible she acted on the trip, and how judgmental she was of certain groups of people (yet she hates how people judge her).
We did talk things over. She acknowledged some of her less-than-stellar behavior, but stood by her opinions that conflict with mine. And that’s completely fine, because she is free to have her own opinion and choices in life. As we all are.
It’s been nearly 2 weeks since we came back from our trip and we’ve exchanged few words since then. Her reason being that she’s been super busy and "kinda realized" she hadn’t contacted me back from my last message to her.
That is complete bullshit. During our time Japan, when we were busy trying to figure out where to go, or what research to do, she NEVER failed to make time to open up her SnapChat, CAREFULLY snap a selfie and send it along with a text message to another friend. Multiple times a day.
She’s known that other friend for ~6 months.
I think the truth is that we’ve grown apart. I think the trip revealed how much not-in-common we had. And because of it, along with other factors, I’ve probably become less important to my friend.
It hurts because it makes me feel like I’ve been used, and now I’m just being tossed aside. But after thinking about it (a lot), I’ve come to fully realize what a natural phenomenon it is. For people to change, grow apart and move on. It just happens; it’s part of human nature.
This friend told me once about how she used to be part of a group of friends…and when a new friend joined the group…they all ended up growing distant from her and closer to the new person. Even though she’d known them longer than the new person did. I used to feel sorry for my friend.
But now…I don’t. And I can’t. Because the exact same thing is happening between us.
I think I can honestly understand, now, why many people are so afraid and anxious about getting close to others.
I know how you feel. I had the same (well not entirely) thing happen with a friend of mine. It hurts and can be frustrating.
But perhaps sometimes it is for the best. You deserve better!
Comment by Christine. on August 06, 2017
Thank you Maroon. I'm sorry to hear a similar thing happened to you. I agree that it is pretty hurtful and frustrating. But you're right:
sometimes it is for the best/better. So I'll have hope for that. Thanks again. =)
I am so sorry about your friend, but to be honest I think it's better this way. I mean, you guys aren't on the same page anymore and you already so a harsh behavior towards other people. It's not your fault.
Yes, people gow apart, but sometimes it's for the best. I had hundreds of friends, but the people I kept by my side are friendships I had for years with amazing people who are kind and accepting. We learned to accept each other, to respect our opinions and the only thing that matters is to love each other.